Thankful

This holiday weekend is bringing out the better side of me. I like it! I'm really excited for my kid's party at school - they are so cute in their little costumes. It's also FL/GA weekend, as always it pairs with Halloween. I'm a little nervous about the game, but I'm gonna have faith that my Gators can pull it off strong. In fact, I'm gonna have faith that everything will be okay. I've been on edge lately because of our finances. We can afford everything we NEED, but not everything we WANT. Sometimes it's hard to make that distinction. I was at a garage sale this morning and a retired-age woman was selling some men's things. I assumed they were her husbands things, until she said "My son passed away 3 months ago and now I need to get rid of some of his things. He just collected so much stuff!". There was an old pair of cowboy boots in a box, clearly worn often, and I said "I bet he had a lot of fun in these!". As I walked away, I heard a baby crying in the house, and all I could think about was whether that baby was her grandchild, and if that baby's father was this woman's son. I didn't ask, but I didn't have to. I think it was one of those times where God sends me a little message about how blessed I am, and to stop worrying about all the little things and instead focus on the amazing gifts I have been given. It also made me sad to think that this woman had to bear the burden of the death of her son. There has been a lot of tragedy around me lately. A friend of the family was killed by a stray bullet in Jacksonville, leaving behind her three young children and husband. A colleague lost a pregnancy after 5 months gestation. Another colleague was diagnosed with prostate cancer. This week is teaching me that I must be thankful for every minute I'm given with my loved ones, and to do the things that I love with them and for them. When Lily does something good, I say "Good Job, Honey". When I don't say it right away, she asks me to say it because she needs to hear it. Perhaps I need to listen a little more closely to the cues around me to hear "Good Job, Steph". I think we all need that validation that we are on the right path. I'm thankful for the blessings bestowed upon me, and I'm trying to be more grateful and appreciative to the One that provides for me.

Hello, My Name Is...

The kids and I went to church last night for a new program they are hosting on Wednesday nights called "Little Friends of Faith". It's a gathering for kids 0-4 and a chance for parents of young kids to mingle and fellowship, and they provide dinner, so I was the first to sign up!! The first order of business was sign in and get nametags. Lily wrote her own name (though she still has a little trouble with the "y"). I put Luke's nametag on his back because he kept peeling it off. After Lily was coloring for a few minutes, she looked up at me and said I spelled my name wrong. Embarrassed, I looked down but realized I spelled "Steph" correctly. She said "No, but Mommy, it doesn't have an M in it!". Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard with my whole heart! What a sweetie! Of course my name is MOM, not Steph! And that has been a pivotal moment for me. Who am I? So many different titles throughout my short life so far...maybe even a few not-so-nice names at times...I'm having a hard time deciding who I am these days, but more importantly, I'm having an even harder time deciding who I want to be. What name goes on my nametag next week? Perhaps just "BLESSED".

No more lipstick

I just realized, while drinking a cup of my favorite coffee, that I no longer wear lipstick. I don't miss it at all. I think it really just dries out my lips anyways. In thinking, though, about when this change occurred, I realized a lot of things changed when I had Lily. I no longer want to be the main driver...unfortunately for Alfred, that means he has to drive everywhere now. That used to be my spot, the drivers seat. Pretty much a true statement for everything in my life. But I've given that spot up to those that can help me the most now. I used to need that control, now I am actively giving some control to other people in order to maintain balance. I like it! I never thought I'd be that kind of Mom (well, I guess I never really thought about the Mom I'd be at all!). Back to lipstick...I love to kiss my kids. I think they are going to grow up and be those kids that are perpetually saying "Mooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmm". I can't leave that kind of evidence on their cheeks, especially as they get older, only in their hearts. Hence, no more lipstick.

School's almost over

It's May 2010 already?! My baby girl is almost done with her first full year of preschool. My son is walking (running, actually). I can't believe it. Well, we've actually had a lot going on since my last post. Luke turned ONE and had a super fun Spongebob party with a ton of friends. Lily turned THREE, Hawaii-style, with a jumpy house and a backyard BBQ filled with big and little friends she's made this year. We had our first ER scare with Luke - he got the Croupe, which is a terrible wheezing cough that makes it sound like he can't catch his breath. By His grace, we had a wonderful staff of nurses at the hospital that really helped ease the process of our first time. Luke recovered within 24 hours. We had our first family vacation to Disney World too! It was HOT, but it was so cool (if you know what I mean). Lily just LOVED the princesses, and Luke was hugging all the Pooh characters. We had a special dinner with Cinderella, and Lily is still talking about Prince Charming today. We went to Arabian Nights, which is a horse-dinner-show and Lily was in awe. I really think she was jaw-dropped for much of the show. Luke, not so much...but there is only so much a baby can handle. Gotta give him props for handling Disney so well. We found him a little boat for kids that spit water, and luckily I packed extra outfits for both kids, because Luke was soaked from head to toe, but with a smile to match so it was all worth it. We've had an action-packed spring. I think our summertime will be a little more laid back...I'm thinking pool, sprinklers, and lots of naps... :)

Not my time

There is a biblical story about Jesus at a wedding and they run out of wine. Mary says to Him, can't you do something about this? And He says "Woman, it's not my time!". But of course he turns the water into wine anyways, and His great powers are seen. Recently, I've been pursuing some things that have not gone my way. I can't seem to get these folks to realize my talents and all the great things I can do (and have done)! So I'm talking with my Dad about yet another opportunity that has passed me by, and he says "it's just not your time". Something rings extremely raw and true about that statement. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm totally convinced that these opportunities I've been pursuing this past year are simply gearing me up for something much bigger and better...when I'm ready. My time has not yet come, but I will wait patiently and continue to work very hard. I feel ready, but perhaps there are things in my near future that I cannot predict that will need more of my attention...and then I'll be ready.

Disney "Give a Day"

I (Steph) volunteered today for the Disney Give a Day, Get a Disney Day program. Basically I chose a charity that was part of the Helping Hands Network, I give one day of charity time, and they report it to Disney who will give me a free ticket to the park. Alfred already did his charity work last weekend. Mine was to work in a facility that provides clothing, toys and basic needs for foster children and their families. This place was amazing. My first two hours I babysat a couple of foster children while their foster parents attended some sort of training class, so that was fun. The last hour was to "shop" for a foster kid that was recently assigned a family. He was a 3 year old boy. I didn't get to meet him, just had his name and sizes on a piece of paper. They have a specific list of items that each child receives, based on their age. My little boy got one dressy outfit, 6 play outfits, 2 pj's, one pair of shoes, two jackets, 5 prs of socks, 5 prs of underwear, one hat, two books, two toys, a coloring book with crayons and a little stuffed bear. Now this stuffed bear has extremely special meaning to me. I was looking around their bins of toys for something really special. I had something in my hands, and all of a sudden this little white bear poked his head out of the bin at me. It's the very same little white bear that Lily sleeps with every night. I seriously got tears in my eyes. This random little 3 year old has to get a complete stranger to pick out a stuffed toy that might make him sleep better at night. Oh, what a wonderful charity though that they can offer all of that assistance to those children and those families. It really makes me thankful for all that we have (and I don't just mean the physical "stuff"). I knew that volunteering would make me feel grateful, and I'm really glad I did it. I will feel even better now when I'm at Disney World in May! :)

Happy "Back to Normal" New Year!

Christmas was wonderful, but a bit of a whirlwind. We enjoyed Christmas Eve with the Rogulski's, opening a few early gifts is always fun. The Sanalila clan came up from FL on Christmas eve and we all enjoyed a crazy Christmas morning together. Lily got overwhelmed after about 20 minutes when she realized the whole "show" was not about her alone. She walked off into her playroom and decided to watch cartoons...leaving pretty much all of her wrapped gifts still under the tree! Luke was buried in wrapping paper but found a toy he really liked so that kept him quiet for a few minutes. He was pretty overwhelmed as well. I guess we all were! Cousin Isabella enjoyed her "first Christmas" as well. We had Christmas dinner at the Rogulski's. Isabella's first birthday was the 26th, so it was fun to celebrate with her. We went out for lunch, and had cake and presents back at the house afterwards. She is pretty much walking already - pulls herself up and takes a few steps before plopping on her bottom. By the time I'm writing this, she's probably an old pro! Luke was watching closely, as usual, and is now doing the same thing. He's going to be walking by his first birthday too!

Our new year has started off very well. Lily is back at school now, loving every minute (as are we). Luke is happy to have some alone time with Daddy in the mornings before "the tornado" makes it back home again. Steph is super-busy with work, gearing up for the prime selling season in college publishing again. I love this time of year though - everything feels so fresh, so new, so optimistic!